I have struggled to find words to express what I thought and felt as I traversed the Holy Land. In sum, my pilgrimage was continually marked by this theme: God is forever faithful. He will do with us what He chooses, and on this journey, He chose to cultivate my patience and trust. His spirit, His presence, and His love are ubiquitous. We need only open our eyes to see it. 

The Western Wall, one of the holiest places on earth

Having studied abroad twice before, I can honestly say that my growth as a result of those trips utterly pales in comparison to the transformation I experienced in Israel. What a tremendous gift those ten days were. Yet, predictably, the joy and gratitude I feel cannot be fully summarized or related through the written word. One of the most persistent challenges of describing God’s love is the frequent failure of language to capture its textures, emotions, and effects. Through Israel, Jesus revolutionized my sense of self in the world. This cannot be encapsulated. 

What I can say is that Israel is a special place, and Passages is a special program. The trip was an undeserved blessing. It is difficult to explain what it is like to leave, change, grow, learn, and then return home, feeling more lost than I did prior to leaving. To clarify, it is not feeling lost that begets emptiness, but rather the feeling of a restless heart that yearns to see more of God’s beautiful creation. A dear friend of mine once said, “I now know that every second that I have been given is a gift, and I had to go half way around the world to discover that secret.” How true this is. 

While in Israel, I listened to a particular soundtrack by Hillsong United. Now—every time I listen—I am reminded of my time there, and I let the Holy Spirit flood my heart. In that moment, I know that no matter how formidable the obstacles are that lie ahead, however overwhelmed I am by the staggering problems that mire our world—my Father has made me a promise of salvation. His son Jesus was crucified—suffering an inconceivably agonizing death—so that I could experience that gift.

Garden of Gethsemane, a place of prayer that Jesus often retreated to for communion with his Father

            In the Garden of Gethsemane, this promise was indelibly transcribed upon my heart. I had the privilege to witness where Jesus’ feet walked, his knees knelt, his head bowed, his tears fell, and his heart yielded as he surrendered himself as a sacrificial offering for our sin. What a Savior. Ironically, the only word that comes to mind to describe my experience is ‘ineffable.’ Putting away my phone, I surrendered to the deep comfort of the Lord’s presence. One can only experience such a feeling when he completely disconnects and indulges wholeheartedly in prayerful meditation. So often, we have become accustomed to focusing on the beauty in front of us through the visual display of an artificially framed screen; yet in doing so, we separate ourselves from the tangible experiences before us—the sounds, the smells, the breeze, the soft chatter of voices, none of which are able to be replayed.

Reminiscing on those precious moments in the garden will always suffuse me with the peace that surpasses all understanding. And some day, God willing, I will return to the Holy Land, knowing that the Lord’s promises remain as true as they did when I first walked there. 

 Sea of Galilee, where Jesus walked on water